Chaos in Click
by bcandii
Summary: Letting his boyfriend pretend to date his sister was probably the worst decision he'd ever made.


Lannan/LazarBeamElliott/Muselk

So this story has been rattling around in my head for... About an hour. It's fresh [not well thought through] and its also very late [or very early] [semantics]. Forgive me for all mistakes as it's also my first of this pairing and I'm sure my timeline for this is SCREWED. Anyway, the muses for this are the two men themselves and they are very loud so here is this bit of filth and angst and sappy shit.

There's been plenty of talk of Ilsa and Lannan since New Years, and it was Cath that came up with the ridiculous idea. Elliott only went along with it because there was no way anyone would believe it. Not that Lannan isn't a catch, or that Ilsa didn't- nevermind. He was obsessing again. Because that's what he does, he obsesses. This would pass as yet another joke the Click house thought of to fuck with their fans.

It did not pass. Lannan took to the idea slowly at first, until Elliott just shrugged like it didn't matter. Despite the fact that it did matter and Elliott was just a fucking moron. After his supposed go ahead, Lannan took to it with gusto and the fans were eating it up. Elliott just kept telling himself that this would eventually blow over.

It did not blow over. Because fucking Lannan with his hilarious fucking stunts and his smart ass fucking mouth did not let it go. And then he made out with Elliott's sister on camera. And she let him. He honestly doesn't know who he was more upset with. Lannan for macking on his sister [and maybe another reason, Ilsa because she knew [she fucking knew, Cath for giving the idea to the two knuckleheaded people, or Marcus for just sitting there and not putting a stop to it despite the glare he was trying his best to suppress. And then they posted it. They actually put it in a fucking video. Their entire fan base knew and they were thrilled. So Elliott seethed in a quiet form of anger that everyone except Lannan could feel. Because Lannan wasn't here. He didn't stay in the house. He was mostly here for just random videos and sometimes to hang out and those times Elliott tried his best to just enjoy their time together, but you see. Here's the key thing. Lannan isn't dating Elliott's sister. He's dating Elliott. Sure there's been a lot of talk about it, hence why Cath suggested this fake ass relationship to begin with, but here the two were. Sitting on the couch in Elliott's house, eating Elliott's food, giggling and whispering to each other like a couple of fucking teenage girls. The final straw, she said something and it made him laugh. Not that hollow YouTuber laugh, not the haha you're funny laugh that ends a moment later, it was the laugh that even Elliott rarely saw. It was full body, grinning so large his eyes watered, and it just didn't seem to end. Elliott had had enough. If that's the Watkins he wanted, let him have her. He obviously wasn't enough.

Lannan was in heaven, hearing stories about Elliott that the man himself would NEVER have told him. Ilsa was telling him when the name LazarBeam and then the name Lannan started being a recuring theme in all of Elliott's conversations, one particular bit of information had him blushing, happy, and laughing. He had only just started plotting how to bring up Elliott's Lannan obsession in casual conversation when a door was heard, slamming loudly in a way he knew could only be Elliott's. He had heard it slam behind him enough [Usually followed by his or the others back being pressed against said door moments afterward] that he'd know it from a thousand doors. He didn't hesitate to go find out what was going on, not sparing his fake girlfriend a glance.

He was pacing. Elliott was pacing, something he probably picked up from Lannan. The thought had him pacing more. He heard his name being called before Lannan got to the door, he even knocked, something the other man never does, specifically for Elliott's door, because when he's here this is his room. Was. Past tense. Does Elliott have to explain this to him? Lannan no doubt will fight. He fights about everything. Except about having to fake a relationship with his boyfriend's sister. He did that without batting an eye. Even put her up on his fucking channel and- "Elliott?" He asked, probably making sure the other wasn't streaming. Because there was almost a slip up of the other coming into his room once. Half naked and calling out a pet name before freezing and backtracking. Luckily nothing was heard or seen, but they were more cautious since then. Guess they don't have to anymore. Lannan opened the door, his face full of worry, which only got worse when he saw the other. "Babe? You okay?" He asked, even if he could visibly see that no, he was not! When Elliott didn't answer, Lannan sat on the edge of their bed- his bed, and waited. As patiently as he ever was capable. Which was very little. "Did I do something?" There was a short talk at the beginning of this, about Lannan's painful self-doubt, about his depression and about how much he blamed everything on himself. Elliott wanted to be the one that fixed that. Instead he opened his mouth with hurt in his own heart.

"Isn't it always?!" The flinch did not go unnoticed. Oh well, maybe Ilsa could help his self esteem, Elliott obviously wasn't cut out for it. Lannan bowed his head, standing, all words mumbled and talking to the floor.

"I'm sorry. I'm- I'll- sorry. I'll go." And he rushed to the door.

Lannan had his hand on the doorknob when he heard the sob break. It wasn't from himself, even though god knew how close he was. He tried to push the fear of fucking things up more to the side, to focus on his boyfriend. Was he even his boyfriend anymore? Elliott was obviously done with him. Maybe he could salvage the friendship, at least. He'd take what he could get. "Hey. No crying. Look, we both knew you wouldn't put up with my bullshit for long. It isn't your fault." He barely even realized what he was saying, just trying to console the other. Apparently it wasn't the right thing to say.

"Really?!" Elliott asked, incredulous, looking at him finally, wiping tears from his face. "It's not me, it's you. That's what you're going with?" Lannan got defensive. Because that's not what he said or even what he meant.

"You're the one breaking up with me here so-"

"Because I want you to be happy." Well that was just confusing and heartbreaking. Lannan felt his legs fall from underneath him.

"So you are breaking up with me." It wasn't a question. Elliott just said it himself. He was talking to the floor again when he said, "And for the record, I was happy."

"Yeah mate, plenty happy with your tongue down my sister's throat." Lannan's head snapped up. For the first time since Elliott spoke he felt a niggling of a chance.

"That's what this is about?" He asked. Mostly for clarification. Elliott sank to the floor too, across from him, and gave a small nod. "You're the one that asked me to do it."

"I never ONCE asked you to kiss anyone else. Except that one time in truth or dare, but that was before we got together and I just honestly wanted to see if Marcus would do it." He wanted to laugh. It didn't work. Lannan ignored the joke all together. Strictly business for the first time in his life.

"I was just selling the bit. You wanted to make sure no one knew about us, and I knew if someone found out you'd dump me before I could blink. Looks like I fucked it up anyways."

"I wouldn't have-"

"What? Broke up with me? You're doing it now. And for what? Because I'm honestly clueless on that part."

"Ilsa-"

"Don't bring her into this. You put this shit in motion to avoid being caught out. Don't get me wrong, I would be ashamed of me too- hell I'm ashamed of myself all the time. But don't pull Ilsa into this like it's her fault."

In Elliott's cloud of anger, he chose to ignore the self-deprecation, "Sure, defend your girlfriend." Lannan's hands were swinging around wildly.

"She's not my-" Elliott wasn't listening.

"And I don't blame her, it's you!" Elliott knew he meant that he couldn't fault his sister for falling for Lannan. Elliott had, and it was just too hypocritical for him to blame her for it when Lannan made it so easy to love him. But he also knew how it sounded and in order to save face, he let Lannan think it was just something else he could blame himself for. The words stuck in his throat. Clearing it and starting at the floor he said, "You got what you wanted out of this. We had fun, but like you said, this wouldn't have lasted long. You're still Click but this-" he looked up, but Lannan wasn't in front of him anymore. He caught a glimpse of Lannan's back before the door was slammed again.

Elliott groaned. It's been a week and it was hell. Don't get him wrong, his YouTube career was profiting due to the break up. More time since he was avoiding everyone and not sleeping a wink. It was catching up to him, but he ignored it to prep for the stupid Click video. Bubble Soccer? What the actual fuck was he thinking. Well, at least he could hide his face and not really have to look at Lannan's either. He was doing his best to convince himself that he was just another friend. Just another member of the Click Crew, no different from Cray or Bazz or- "Hey bro, we're done setting up." Ilsa. Who had acted like nothing had happened. Maybe Lannan hadn't talked her. Elliott sure hadn't, too busy ignoring everything to be able to handle it. He scoffed at himself. This was his choice. He'll tell Ilsa soon, give her and Lannan permission to do- whatever. He just had to wait for his to be able to say it without vomiting on people.

Overall, Elliott could say it was to be expected. Expected because it would have been an obvious thing of Lannan didn't target him. It's a running gag. The only unexpected thing was Tannar. Elliott had assumed she would try to stick by Cray, since their thing was new and frankly if he wasn't so heartbroken he would say adorable. But instead she targeted him too. After the cameras were off and she just glared at him before dragging her brother off, he understood why. She knew. Apparently, Lannan not sticking around afterward was a wake up call for Ilsa as well, who was waiting for him in his room after his shower. She was sitting in his gaming chair, making him stand because he hadn't been able to even think of the bed he used to share with Lannan, not for sleep or any other purposes. It wasn't going to end now. "What's going on, El?" She asked, knowing he wouldn't make this easy. "And don't say nothing because you were both fighting here last week and he hasn't been back since. He comes to record and disappears afterward. We all know your post recording habits." He merely raised an eyebrow in response. "Oh come on, when was the last time you showered alone after Click did something messy?" She waved a dismissive hand at the dirsty clothes hamper with his muddy outfit on top. Elliott sighed.

"He just- he wasn't happy. With me. So we're doing the not-with-me thing." It was a awkward sentence to say the least.

"Oh please. The only reason Cath thought of this stupid ruse of 'Lansa' or whatever was because he was so obviously in love with you that it was going to spoil your secret you wanted to keep so bad." Elliott slumped against the wall.

"I didn't really care about the 'secret'. I mean sure, I would have lost some subscribers but it would have been just fine if someone found out." He sighed again. "But now there's nothing to find out. His fans will be plenty happy with you anyways." He tried for joking. As a recuring theme, this one didn't work either.

"Why would we continue to pretend-" She paused. "You think we- oh Elliott." She cooed, non too gently calling him out on being pathetic. "You've gotta know by now that I want something.. different." She looked longingly at the picture of the Click Crew pinned on the wall. She traced two fingers on it, one down Marcus, the other down Cath. They hadn't given her more than a night, Elliott knew, but he hadn't known she wanted more. Is this why Lannan hadn't told her about their breakup? Once she knew, she didn't need to pretend no more. She was doing this for Eliot and without Eliot in the picture, there would be no 'Lansa'.

"I-um" he cleared his throat. "I didn't know it was like that. For what it's worth, I'm sorry." He sighed. "Let Lannan down easy? He into this ruse more than you think." She laughed, eyes not leaving the picture just yet.

"No, he's not. It's you that thinks that. The only reason I was telling him that story last week was because he reminded me of it, because that's how he was acting." Eliot's head tilted like a dog, confused.

"What story?" She laughed again, this time looking at him, mirth in her eyes that reminded Elliott of the laughter Lannan gave the woman last week.

"I was telling him how much you used to talk about him. All the time. 'Cause every time he and I talk, all he talked about was you, and it reminded me of the 40 minute phone call when you were in the States and the whole time it was Lannan did this and Lannan did that. I think you had just found out his actual name, because you used it a thousand times in one conversation." She laughed, just like she had last week.

"That's what y'all were whispering about? Before he came to find me?" She nodded and then her phone dinged with a text. She glanced at it, glanced at her brother, then back at her phone.

"I gotta go." She said, rushing out the room, but not before Elliott heard her dialing. Whoever she called answered because she asked, "He did what?!" As the elevator doors closed. Elliott followed, of course.

Lannan was very much hungover. And maybe hallucinating because Elliott was sitting beside him, on the floor, back against the wall, staring at his phone like it held all the answers to life. The puke trying to whell up inside his throat tasted like too many different types of alcohol. He knew he had fucked something else up. "How bad is it?" Lannan asked. Elliott flinched at the sudden noise, as raspy as it was, but shrugged. Lannan hated when he shrugged. Like when he shrugged and said it was fine for someone he was supposed to want solely for himself to go off and be with someone else, just so Lannan wouldn't tarnish his image. The hungover man hated this shrug almost as bad. "Whatever I did was bad enough to get you here. Was it groveling? I've been fighting that urge for a week. Then again, if I had thought it would work I would have actually done it sober. As sober as I've been for the past nine days." Nine whole days of fucking hell. "So what did I do? And why are you here?" Elliott just shrugged again, sagging further back into the wall, clicking at his phone for a few moments [excruciatingly long moments, before finally handing the device to Lannan. He sat up straight immediately. His stomach protested but he ignored it in favor of staring at the screen with abject horror. 'Coming Clean' posted by LazarBeam at 4:07AM and it wasn't his normal setup, no design or graphic or mock up for the thumbnail, just him sitting under a tree, talking to the camera, a suspicious amount of empty bottles surrounding him. Lannan dropped the phone in shame, hanging his head and talking toward his lap. "I'm so sorry, Elliott. I never would have done that in my right mind. It didn't once cross my mind. When we were together or.. since.." He cleared this throat, it was getting dry. "I'm a firm believer in 'It ain't my business to tell.' You know that, El. I'm so sorry I outted you." It was the sound of Elliott's laughter that had him looking up, not hysterical laughter, just a genuine smile lighting the other man's face.

"You didn't." It seemed like too long ago that he had heard his voice, especially that tone.

"I didn't?" He asked, picking the phone up again, wanting to press play to have some clarification, but didn't in fear that if he had answers, Elliott would have no reason to stick around.

"No, you told everyone Ilsa was a ploy. Not a publicity stunt, just a cover up. You didn't tell them about us, you came out as gay. Only yourself. You said that Ilsa and the whole Click Crew were great about it, but that it weighed too heavily on your conscious. And that you had no possibilities of moving on with such big lie blocking your way." Elliott sighed. "But I don't want you to." Lannan didn't understand what he meant. He couldn't even focus on the fact that he literally just came out the closet to his 11 million subscribers, essentially the whole world, but he was more focused on the man beside him.

"Don't want me to what?" He asked. "I mean, I can't exactly recede the video. I could take it down or say it was a joke, but at least three quarters of the fans will know I'm lying."

"No, I mean-" he sighed again, pushing off the ground and sitting on the bed instead. "I don't want you to move on."

"Oh." Lannan understood now. "Look, your secrets safe with me. And drunk and sober me have no intention of leaving Click. Not only would it look bad for Click but you guys are and will always be family. I-" whatever Lannan was going to say next was swallowed by Elliott's lips before flying out of Lannan's head completely. He didn't care, he felt whole again after a week of pure torture. He had spent so much time blaming himself so he couldn't focus on what he was losing, that he had forgotten how good Eliot made him feel. Last week was the first time Lannan truly felt like a fuck up around the brunet. His whole life he felt like less than, but Elliott, despite his jokes and their online personas, always made Lannan feel worth something. Valuable. Wanted. Full of hope. Kissing him now brought all of that back in a way that washed away his hangover completely. The feeling lingered even when Elliott pulled away, because he didn't go far, and his eyes held apologies and promises that Lannan didn't care to hear about at the moment. He kissed Elliott again, pulling the other to him, and then on top of him as he laid back again. Elliott let himself be pulled, weaving one of his hands into Lannan's hair, the other arm supporting his weight above the other man. After a minute, Elliott pulled away again, this time for air.

Elliott rested his forehead against Lannan's. He couldn't let the unsaid apologies go quietly. He had to make amends, he had to fix what he had tore down. He opened his mouth to apologize for everything he had done and said last week, but all that came was, "I love you." And, while truthful, completely not what he meant to say. It seemed to render Lannan speechless, so he used the time to continue. "I saw you and Ilsa laughing and giggling, and that video you put up with her in it, and I stupidly watched the clip of you kissing her, like 20 times. It was- I was jealous. It wasn't just- it wasn't like you were mine and mine alone, you're not a toy I can be territorial about. Growl and say mine. Despite actually wanting to do that. It was more like-" Elliott paused. Too much was riding on finding the right words. "It was like I was watching every single good thing in my life slip through my fingers. It was like my dream life was being lived by someone else. And man, if it had been anyone else, I would have probably gotten my ass handed to me, but I would went in swinging. But it was my own sister and all I could think was that I had just been a place holder. That the person I love is only around because they loved someone else." Elliott stopped cause Lannan's hand touched the side of his face and it was alluring and distracting.

"Your sister is great. She's a lovely person. And someone, or someones, willing be very lucky to have her one day. But I don't want her. I never wanted her. I want the man that makes me laugh and live more than anyone else I've ever met. I want the man that lies next to me at night and listens to me ramble about the stupidest shit. The one that makes my heart flutter when he says my name, or when I feel the touch of his hand. I want you, the man that I love." Their next kiss was full of too much teeth because they were both grinning like madmen. Suddenly, Elliott laughed.

"I owe Ilsa so much. We should give her a shout out when he make our video."

"What video?"

"A drunken half of a couple isn't going to enough explanation. A sober video with both of us- Coming Clean Pt. Two. Yes, creative name. This could work. We should choose a different tree through." Lannan just rolled the pair over, him hovering over Elliott this time, and kissed him senseless. They'd work out the details of the video later. As Elliott slipped his hand under Lannan's shirt, he thought to himself that it would be figured out much later.


End file.
